Finality-JoshuaxNeku-TWEWY

After all he'd been through.

Those were the only thoughts that helped themselves to the shallowest workings of his brain as he clenched his hands in the bed sheets, numbly thankful for the new absence of chemical smells and the slow, steady beat of a heart monitor. He was utterly blank, besides the few bits of words that floated through his foggy brain. A cough bubbled to his lips. This wasn't fair.

He'd fought too hard to lose it now.

There was no way this could be happening, no possible chance that he was this weak, this helpless and sad. What had everything been for? Three weeks of battling to save himself and the ones he had come to love and he would be struck down by something so… Trivial. Something so painfully mortal when he, while in less-than-humble moods, had thought himself quite great at having achieved what he had achieved. He simply couldn't understand this kind of cruelty. And he, admittedly, was scared. Scared for himself and for his friends, how they would cope without him.

Two years he'd had wonderful peace and something that couldn't be fought with his methods ate away at his brain, and he shuddered when a reminding twinge of pain wrapped around his skull, and a smoky feeling flooded all of his senses. A soft, desperate sob escaped him.

Neku Sakuraba hadn't planned on his death, not even two years prior when he had lived his own death. He had felt so foolishly young and immortal. When the headaches had started, he'd thought nothing of it. It was only when he'd started slipping back into an older version of himself, that same distant, brooding boy that had first entered the Game, that his friends had pleaded with his to seek medical attention. It had come too late.

He'd asked if he could go home after the testing, the scans and X-rays that proved the worst. The doctors had agreed solemnly. There was nothing they could do, not anymore.

He was dying all over again.

His room was a small comfort, something familiar, something warm. Cool breeze and Shibuya's nighttime bustle floated in through the open window. Slowly, he sat up, placing his feet on the floor and walking slowly to the sound, ignoring the slight falter in his step. The sky was lit up by the city's lights, 104 glowing brightly at the end of the street, not far from his apartment. If he crained his neck to the left, he could see Udagawa District's CAT mural just over the roof of the record store. It was one in the morning and the crowds still pressed through. Shibuya. Never-ending.

His throat clenched when he thought how much he would miss it, this crowded and stifling place. He loved it now, the people, the shops. He'd gotten to know all of them, could even pick out old, familiar faces, still somewhat similar. Those faces that belonged in two worlds. He could smell the coffee drifting from mister H's shop. He smiled sadly.

Slowly, he cast his gaze up. One or two dim stars scattered the sky, but as he looked and his vision blurred again, they brightened, and suddenly there were thousands, twinkling just for him.

"I don't know if it's totally corny to hope that you can hear me," he said softly, blinking. "But just in case where I'm going isn't… Isn't the same place you are, you're the last person I have to say goodbye to." His throat clenched. "And… I wanted to say… thank you. For fixing things. Screw you, for putting me through everything, but… Thank you."

There was something like a sniffle behind him, smothered in the dark to just the barest of sounds.

Neku whirled around, a dizzying wave rushing over him. There was a faint, silvery glow to the room now, all emanating from the boy who stood, ragged, gorgeously disheveled, right in the center and in front of the other boy. His violet eyes were wide and wild, desperation lingering around the edges. His soft lips parted just slightly as he stared at Neku as if the boy were some foreign creature. Then he softened and took a stumbling step forward, unfitting for something so beautiful.

"…Neku…"

"Joshua."


Neku pressed forward, needing only to touch the other boy, to feel him and be sure that he was really, truly there. Two years of bittersweet longing and dull betrayal melted away in an instant. He was in Joshua's arms. This wasn't the Composer, not some sick, twisted angel of Death. This boy was his. He pressed his face into the fabric of his shirt and breathed in the sharp, clean, cottony smell.

"Where the hell have you been?"

The young God didn't answer, only shivered as he clasped Neku close to him, breath ragged in his ear. After a long while, he pulled away just slightly.

"I can't save you. I can't do anything."

Neku nodded slowly. "I figured as much. I didn't expect your help."

The other boy raked a hand through his silver hair, looking impossibly beautiful being this windswept, this unkempt. "Let me- Let me put you back in the Game. You'd win again."

A stinging was beginning to collect around Neku's eyes. He shook his head, gritting his teeth against the wish to accept. "I couldn't. It wouldn't b fair."

"Neither is this." He touched Neku's temple with gentle fingers, thick lashes drooping heavily. "I never wanted you to stop existing. This is completely ridiculous, there has to be some way I can-"

"There isn't." The boy looked down, a streak of pain shooting through his head. He winced, leaning his face into the coolness of Joshua's palm. "It's screwed up. But there isn't anything to do."

He was pulled closer, lips pressed to his forehead. "I should've known sooner. You should've found help sooner! Why didn't you listen to your idiot friends, Neku, I could've…" Joshua's fingers clenched. "I could've been on time."

"You never checked in."

"I thought you would hate me."

"I do."

Kisses were rained down along the back of his neck. He wasn't used to this; there was no taunting or challenge. The beautiful God should never have had to look this desperate. Neku's heart broke for him, for himself.

Joshua hid his face from the ex-Player, but Neku could feel him trembling.

Neku squeezed his eyes shut. "Tell me where I'll go. Will I be erased? Will I go to the UG, or where players go after, or…?"

The young God stifled a heavy sigh. "Some place like the UG. You'll be… Happy." Neku felt a ghost of his sly smile against hi shoulder. "As happy as you get, at least. There'll be music for you, I'm sure."

The ex-Player was beginning to feel heavy, sleepy. He sank into Joshua's arms and found himself lifted, placed back into the comfort of his bed, thick comforter pulled up around him, Josh's cool body laying beside his, their fingers entwined.

"Tell me more?"

Tears were collecting on Joshua's lashes. He ran a hand along Neku's spine, keeping his voice low, soothing. "You'll be warm, and your friends will be there before you know it. Music will play for you and you will be so, so loved…" He kissed Neku's forehead with a hitch in his throat. "I'll make sure you're happy. I'll see to it that you're cared for. I promise."

The other boy made some soft, indistinct sound before his breathing softened into sleep. The Composer left himself slip just slightly, a small sob clearing its way of his chest.

None of it was fair.

He buried his face into the silk of Neku's hair, drinking in the sensation before murmuring, "See you in the UG," and letting himself slip back into the shadows.